Dear Husband, I Overspent!



I overspent.  I admit it.  And I felt sick inside.  Oh my, when my husband finds out!

Have you been there?  What do you do?  Do you hide it and think that maybe he won't find out? Or do you confess to him the error of your ways?

I  had a rather stressful week, and might blog about that one day.  But, let's just say that it has been a very trying time.  I was worried and anxious.  I needed something to pacify that nagging fear, so I went shopping at a rather large discount store with my children.  I spent some money that I was not supposed to spend.  Now, mind you, it was not very much, but that money was taken already, and I spent it.

Mistake number one;  I used shopping to pacify my needs.  Instead of finding peace and comfort in Christ, I decided to do the worldly think and shop my fears away!  How foolish!

Mistake number two; I was lacking integrity by dipping into already accounted for money.  I did not resist the temptation and say "no" to self.

I knew my husband would find out.  In the meantime, not only did I still worry about my other issue, but I felt sick at what I had done!  So, not only did it not pacify my needs, but made them worse!

As my husband and I sat down to go over the bills, I was a little skirmish, knowing what was to come.  I felt like a little child, waiting to be disciplined!  Needless to say, he was disappointed.  He had a frown on his face and asked about this little spending frenzy of mine.

I weaseled my way around it.  But, that just wasn't working for me or my conscious.  I knew that an apology was needed and a real explanation.  I eventually told him what had happened and that I was truly sorry.

My dear husband gently explained that we need to not spend anymore money and gave me a hug of reassurance, which I desperately needed!

Do you tend to spend money when you are stressed?  Or, is overspending something that happens often?   Think about the root cause of this, first of all.  Are you bored?  Have you not spent any money lately and are making up for lost time?  Are you pacifying a certain need?  Is it a habit?

God can and will provide us with a fulfillment that is so much more enjoyable and peaceful!  Let us give our needs to Him and trust that He is our Ultimate Healer.  How much our little selfish rampages would decline.  What a true sense of satisfaction it is to know that we can rely on Jesus Christ and find peace!

I urge you to be honest with your husband if you did take a little spending spree.  They do appreciate a humble confession.  If he does get upset, at least you know that you did the right thing in confessing.  Give him time to process and allow God to work on his heart as well.

So, I thank you, dear Husband, for your understanding!  Thank you for reassuring me.  And most importantly, thank you for giving me a glimpse of Christ's love through you!

Yours forever! 









19 comments:

  1. I hear you on this one. I've overspent a few times when I was stressed and just not thinking about the budget and I always felt so guilty when it happened. Good for you for being up front about it with your husband, though! It sounds like it was good for your relationship with him in the end even if it was a stressful situation.

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  2. Thank you for your comment! I think this really hits home with a lot of women! I appreciate your honesty!

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  3. I do this all the time and then feel extremely guilty. Even worse, I do hide it because I don't want to listen to the lecture I am going to get because I am already lecturing myself. I am TERRIBLE with money, I make a budget and I don't stick to it. I watch those shows on TV where the host sets people like me up with a financial consultant and think, PICK ME!! I NEED HELP!! I just don't know where to turn. I feel guilty when I tell my husband NO, for something he wants to do or have because I know how hard he works and I feel that he deserves it. So I will avoid paying a bill or something to give him (or to be honest, myself sometimes) what he wants. It is a vicious cycle!!
    You inspire me to try to work on this and get better!

    Tracy

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  4. Hi Suzie!! I read this last night, thought about commenting, but decided to not. But since you are asking for comments, here goes. I'm not sure which is more difficult, overspending, knowing that your husband is going to frown on it, or, overspending knowing that your husband will say "that's ok. You deserve it." Sometimes I think it would be much easier if my husband were more of a "toe-the-line" kind of guy that would KINDLY reprimand me for going over budget. But he's not, I'm usually the one who is saying, "no, we can't buy that, it's not in our budget." I greatly admire you for putting this topic out there in your blog because either way it is a difficult situation.

    Love you and miss you! I am really enjoying your blog and other stuff here. I have been checking out some of the other blogs that you have linked.

    Ronda

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  5. It's good to hear from you, Ronda! Hope all is well! This subject is a touchy one, I know. I can understand where you are coming from, only in a different light, not with finances. I'm so glad you are enjoying this blog! It has been a lot of fun and soul-searching!
    I miss you as well!

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  6. Tracy,
    I so appreciate your humble honesty! It is hard to get out of a rut, but it can be done! You are not alone in this area! I pray that God will give us all a desire to please Him, and not self, to withstand the temptation to fulfill our needs with material things and I pray that we can become closer to Him and give Him our every thought and desire!

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  7. Yes, I've done it too, Susie! And yes, it is a great reminder that God is truly all we need. Love the fact you're willing to share how God is teaching you so it can encourage others:)

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  8. your honesty is beautiful! the last two years have been very difficult between a job loss for my husband (we have 5 children)and a new baby arriving around Christmas/New Years, but I know if we had not been through this very difficult time I might still struggle with this myself! I am finding the joys and blessings in what we are enduring! I will be praying for those who still are struggling!

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  9. Susie, this must have been a hard post to write, but your honesty encourages all of us to take a look at the things we do that are excess or habits from boredom to fear. I don't spend too much b/c I am somewhat a tightwad, but I do clean and clean out of habit tied to anxieties I may not be willing to face. Maybe it is a control thing, but I can say that the Lord is at work in it(and overspending)bringing us all to Himself!!
    Lovely exhortation!!

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  10. Hey Sister,
    Great job with this post. Humility and honesty are so beautiful! I have gone to using cash only and it has helped me to put much more consideration into each purchase. We pay our credit cards off at the end of each month, but still it was much easier to overspend while using them. Love you.....see you SOON! :0 Dawn

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  11. Hey Sis! Using cash is a the best way! We use a debit card sometimes, but, it can be used too much like a credit card in some aspects. Great to see you on here!

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  12. This is so timely for me! I did a little retail therapy myself yesterday and had an argument with the Holy Spirit in my head the whole time. In the end, I did things my way and there is definitely some guilt. Not just for buying something I didn't need with money I don't have, but for quieting the Holy Spirit's influence.

    Thanks for the reminder that God is what I need, nothing else, not a cute shirt and earrings, but the Lord.

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  13. Becky, I love the way you put it, retail therapy! Thanks for your comment!

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  14. Hi Becky,
    When my husband died I used shopping to pacify my grief and to try to comfort my children, knowing the whole time that it was wrong. That was last year and I am still climbing out of the hole I dug for myself. (Dave Ramsey's "debt snowball" has been very helpful with that!) This is such a relevant issue...thank you for your honest sharing and encouragement.
    Julie

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  15. Sorry, the last comment was for Susie and I mistakenly wrote Becky.
    Julie

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  16. In our household I manage all the money and budget so to be honest my husband wouldn't know if I overspent or not. This means I need to be honest with myself and do the right thing, even if my husband doesn't know. Both my husband and I will spend money on things we don't need, men are just as good at spending on things they don't really need, especailly when he goes to the hardare store!!

    This is my first visit to your blog - its lovely:)

    Blessings

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  17. Can I just say I Love You! I have been jumping around your blog and each post is great. I really love that you are "real". There are many christian blogs out there that tend to be quite intimidating. Some I don't go back to because I don't feel worthy to read them. Your honesty is so appreciated. We all sin and learning from our mistakes and the mistakes of others is so important.
    Thanks

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  18. I'm in the same situation as Joluise. I do the books and my husband tells me it's o'kay if I spend more than I budgeted. He also says it's o'kay if he spends money I don't know about. You all are so blessed to have a husband who CARES about your finances. And you do your finances together! We did that once or twice in the last year. When the conversation came around to the amount of our disposable income and how to choose our priorities for spending it, the togetherness ended. He spends and I'm the one who's supposed to squeeze everything else to make it work.

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  19. PS Ceuson - it isn't that my husband doesn't care, he is hopeless with numbers and I'm good at them, so I do all the bookwork as he knows it will be done well. So I take it as a complement that he completely trusts me to do it right. I prefer it this way as I am very logical and my husband would get into a flap!

    We each have our own pocket money that we can do what we like with (with are both full-time earners) and for big items e.g. car, computer or fridge we discuss the finances together. It works very well and all the bills are paid on time with out drama (unlike when my husband was in charge 10 years ago!!!).

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